My Body Lies Under The Ocean.

Because the internet has been good to me today (insomuch as I have not once, in many, many hours, sighed and said "I think I reached the end of the internet. Again."), and because I'm at The Oxford, and because it's five in the morning and I have nothing better to do, I've decided to share with you my new and improved living will (re: what I want done with my remains.) Now, my parents (who will most certainly outlive me) aren't going to be pleased with my wishes, but I am determined in this.

I want to be cremated. This is not news.

However, I decided today that I want my cremains to be 'buried' at the Neptune Memorial Reef. The NMR is an underwater cemetery,

giving our members peace of mind... cremation and placement in the Neptune Reef is a non-polluting process that consumes no above-ground real estate while reducing stress on other fragile marine reefs which actively support the continuation of life and aliveness on our planet. Done properly, this marine habitat enables life to thrive in the ocean. What better way to give back to the environment and our planet than this environmentally friendly way to replenish the coral growth.

I don't know that it's necessarily more eco-friendly than above ground burial, but it's a helluva lot cooler.






Basically, what they do is, mold your cremains into a cylindrical "placement," which is then inserted into a memorial column. As for column toppers, you can chose between a starfish and a shell (I want a starfish). After that, divers come and visit you periodically, and your ashes are forever lulled to sleep by the soothing sounds of the ocean (or, since they're underwater, the soothing sounds of pretty much nothing at all.)



This only slightly alters my previous request, in that now, you all must listen to "The Princess and the Pony" (and whatever else Ryan spins) while dancing around on a boat.

****

In other news, owing to the fact that Autumn lasted approximately 72 hours this year, Ryan, Louise and I have decided to move to Barbados and become Tiki Bar bartenders. Anyone else in?