Stardate... Um... I don't know the stardate. What the hell is a stardate? Let's just assume it's 10102008. The Enterprise remains in standard orbit. Something about the Starfleet, yada yada yada. I don't know how the rest of it goes. My nerdiness never extended to Star Trek. However, the Enterprise does remain in standard orbit. And life carries on.
Anyway.
Last week, we acquired a washer and dryer, which made us all feel extremely grown up and responsible. However, our basement was (well... in a lot of ways, still is) terrifying-- crumbling concrete, water stains, deteriorating paint, so many spider webs that the ceiling and the walls appeared to have a sort of opaque sheen, etc. Soooo. We decided to "renovate" the laundry room, in an attempt to inspire a shared desire for cleanliness.
Ergo, we decided to paint the laundry room purple. Or rather, Louise and I decided to paint the room purple, completely ignoring Ryan's objections. So, after vacuuming the webs and planting a dozen or so spider traps, sweeping the floors, and scrubbing everything down with Lysol, I painted the room "Playful Purple" (or, as Ryan dubbed it, "Gayful Purple"). We added a side table, a lamp, a stereo, a chair, some frames and other miscellaneous shit.
The result?
A room I have a hard time leaving. I find myself washing things that don't necessarily need to be washed, just so as to have an excuse to sit in that chair and smoke and read my stack of retro self-help books the lady at The Bargain Corner ("Where you can corner the market on bargains!!!") felt inspired to give me (books such as The Cinderella Complex, Why Am I Afraid to Love?, and Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?)
If I could get internet in the basement, I'm pretty sure I would never leave.
Speaking of The Bargain Corner. Somewhere between Louise and I deciding that the aforementioned laundry room should also serve as a Musée de Christ Kitsch and being given free self-help books, I stumbled upon this creepy little doll.
For some reason, I thought it was a man-doll, probably supposed to be a factory worker. Delighted by it's hideousness, I bought it. It wasn't until later (while using it in an impromptu puppet show I put on for Louise, meant to express my sexual frustration and resulting in one of the doll's arms shattering against the dashboard) that I noticed the man-doll had long eyelashes, shoes with bows on them, and... breasts.
I take this as a testament to my subconscious attraction to androgyny. Later, I thought of that character, Honey Huan, from the Doonesbury comic by G. B. Trudeau. Specifically, I thought of this strip:
And lastly: if I had four or so thousand dollars to throw around, I would probably buy myself one of these:
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