5.06.2009

Walk Hard. In the Dark. End Sore.

Because I'm always looking for ways to avoid writing (and because I'd just watched "The Descent" and have a thing for watching 'scary' movies and then walking around at night), I walked from my house to the nearest gas station tonight. I left my house at about 12:15 am, and returned a little after 3 am.

I recorded chunks of my walk. If you're bored, you can watch it...

Be warned, though: my lisp comes out in full effect. In video and on radio, I hiss more than Mike Tyson and Isaac Brock in a bar full of old queens.

And before anyone asks, the reason I don't know if my car actually caught on fire or not is that I wasn't the one driving it when it happened. I've been told that there was a small electrical fire. I don't know.



Please note: I'm melodramatic. Very much so. I think I say, many times, that the trip is 5 miles both ways. It's not: round-trip, it's just over 6 miles. Also, it's dark, so this is pretty much an audio track laid over blurry black images. Really, you should only watch this is you're bored and love me/miss me a lot.

Please also note: I really do need a haircut. No joke.



Here's another comic about those devious social insects:


I think it would be easy to interpret my frequent postings re: ants as a sort of affection for them, but this is not the case. As I've mentioned before, I'm pretty sure ants are the scariest motherfucking organisms on planet Earth and, while I respect their amazing capabilities/accomplishments, a few comics aren't going to lessen (what I perceive to be) their untapped potential for carnage and domination. It's just that I keep coming across ants in my web-travels: some of the stuff I view as legitimizing my fear, and the rest of it I relate to (on an emotional level). The WE THE ROBOTS comic above is a little of both.

Finally: as entertaining as it may initially seem when your cat accidentally consumes Adderall, it ceases to be funny when you remember it's time-release Adderall, and your cat is still being a fucking freak seven hours later. Cats on meth≠fun.

3 comments:

mapofmt said...

as i've said many times before, i love how you mercilessly expose yourself. for example, who's actually going to call you out on the milage of the trip?

also, you are hilarious.

Dallas said...

Calling myself out is a defense mechanism. If I call my bullshit, no one else can...


Also, thanksandJulyissofuckingclose!

mapofmt said...

IKNOWICAN'TWAITOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!