Making Do In The New Economy.

In lieu of actually searching for a "real" job, I've been scouring the interwebs for alternative sources of income. Thus far, here're my best options:

Phone Sex Operator

While I seriously doubt that I would be able to do this without laughing my ass off, the pay off would (almost) make it worth it. It pays 22 cents a minute--for the first ten minutes. After that, it doubles. So, theoretically, if you could hold the caller's interest for an hour, it'd be about $24 an hour... And you get a bonus if the caller requests you, so this there is potential for developing a clientele.

The requirements:

You must be 18 years of age or older. Proof of age must be provided.
You must be a resident of the U.S.
You will need a quiet workspace.
You must have a land line with a corded phone.
You must be open to discussing a wide range of topics and fantasies.

I don't have a land-line, so that could also hinder my ability to do this, but other than that, I think I'm well-suited for this shit.

Added Bonus:

I would finally learn the art of dirty talk.

If I Like This, I Might Also Consider: Getting paid to watch porn, or working as a Customer Service representative at an international telemarketing type business.

Or, if I decide I have absolutely no dignity, I could always do this.




Pet Sitter/Dog Walker

This requires very little explanation. I would walk dogs, or take care of dogs (or cats, I guess), while their owners were off skiing in Vail or some shit like that. It was mentioned somewhere that you can make up to $50 a day pet-sitting, but I think, realistically, it would be more like $20.

Why I Would Rock This Job:

It's hella easy.

Why I Would Suck At This Job:

I have very little patience for poorly trained dogs.

If I Like This, I Might Also Consider: Baby-sitting. But no.





Writing For Online Magazine:s

I keep seeing ads calling for contributions for a plethora of different niche internet rags. I think I could probably b.s. well enough to get an article about hunting published over at PlayerPress. More realistically, Examiner.com is looking for people living in the Billings "metro" area, who could write about certain aspects of Billings. I could do that. Easily. And then there's this totally vague and poorly written call for 'articles.'

Requirements:

An opposable thumb and a keyboard. Though, the opposable thumb is kind of optional. I'm sure there are loads of people missing one or both thumbs who can still operate a keyboard.

What These Gigs Would Pay:

Nothing. Or next to it. But I would be able to use anything published in my resume.

Kind Of In The Same Vein (Though Not Really) is this beauty of an employer. Apparently, they charge a nickel sort of $70 to rework your online dating service profile... Hm.

Of Course, There're Always "The Old Stand-Bys":


-Giving blood and/or selling your body as a medical guinea pig.
-Working as a Mystery Shopper or a Video Game Tester.
-After watching CNBC's special, "Marijuana, Inc," my brother and I discussed moving to Mendocino, CA and selling pot for a living.









I have already contacted the person who posted this "job opportunity," and though it kicks ass, I don't think it pays anything...


But really, when it comes right down to it, I just want to be one of those lucky son's of bitches who gets paid to pretend to sit around and work.